50 Shades of No

An Embodied Shadow Journey through Love, Power & Compliance

Next Dates:

Saturday, May 11th 2024

Life Artists Creators Hub (Milastraße, Berlin) 09:30 - 17:00

An intentionally edgy experiential workshop, inviting you to a somatic inquiry into habitual dynamics, patterns and unconscious tendencies around asking for what we want and rejecting what we don’t

Pricing: between €59 - €73

What’s this about?

This is a full-day experiential workshop inquiring into our habitual relationship dynamics through the language of somatics (being and feeling in the body) and Conscious Kink. 

By shining the light of day on some of these hidden shadows, we encounter the opportunity to engage with them in a safe-enough setting, and perhaps gaining new agency with some previously ‘automatic’ tendencies. 

We will play with different flavors of common relational situations, working with themes like power, compliance, consent, love, standing our ground, wants and needs.

This workshop is an individual journey, supported by a group of journeying humans, offering you a personal hall of mirrors.

50 Shades of No is a Sex-positive space* with a focus on individual learning and growth. 

*Meaning that reference to sex and sexuality is welcomed, used and normalized. This is a lights-on, clothes-on workshop environment that doesn’t navigate towards sexuality or intimate contact.

Who is This For?

  • You are curious to inquire into how you relate to your peers, lovers, and other humans around you, and are willing to step into a space where you may meet your own edges and unconscious patterns.

  • You have some exposure to sex-positive spaces and somatic or body-based practices. You feel comfortable enough in navigating vulnerability with other people. 

  • You want to create more embodied awareness, and more agency and choice in your relationships (romantic or otherwise). 

  • You want to get better at saying what it is that you actually want. Because you believe that this may significantly improve the quality of your life.

Program and Schedule

9:30 doors open

10:00 Workshop begins

(no late admissions)

13:00 Break for Lunch

(bring your own)

17:00 Closing and departure

• A dynamic series of partnered communication exercises geared towards self inquiry

• Embodied consent practices to notice and track authentic desire and resistance

• Scheduled pauses for integration, journaling and sharing 

• A basic introduction and practice of the Consensual Non-Consent dynamic through Conscious Kink

What to Expect 

Pricing

Early Bird - sign up by April 14 - €59

Regular - Apr. 15 until sold out - €73

this workshop is limited to up to 28 participants

Why Conscious Kink?

Consciously playing with taboo topics can offer another pathway for shadows to come onto the light of day, in a conscious, sober and intentional container. In this way we may use Conscious Kink as a pathway towards healing or transformation. This modality offers the opportunity to PLAY with our edges, allowing us to form new relationships with them.

Restorative Shadow Work

Fundamentally, this approach does not vilify or demonize shadow tendencies or unconscious behavior. The lens of permission sees every emotion and state of body and mind as equally valid and belonging. Through curiosity and compassion we first notice and observe, and allow transformation work to emerge from a place of intention and discernment. 

Giving permission does not, however, stand to justify behaving violently or causing harm to ourselves or others, or to bypass potential transformation. Instead it acts as a tender and loving starting point to approach change.

ABOUT MX. GILI

Mx. Gili (they/them) facilitates experiences and education around consent, intimacy and relating, in individual and group settings.

As an aspirant of devotional Tantra, Gili’s aligned with an approach founded in love, presence, polarity, ritual and expansion. These practices are further informed by a Queer understanding of life, sexuality, and gender as abundant spectrums and a commitment to challenging power structures and paradigms which act to indoctrinate and dissociate body from spirit. Drawing from training in a wide variety of body and energy work modalities, they offer an integrated practice of expressing, experiencing, and honouring the holistic body through intimacy, touch, communication, movement, trauma release, shadow work, pleasure, and play.

“This workshop opened up a new level of communication for me in play and connectedness. Finding out about some of my inner, maybe more hidden desires, reaching out to others, seeing empowerment in both saying no and yes - it is more challenging than I thought. I learned to listen to myself and yet finding a respectful and intimate togetherness with others. I learned an appreciative way of standing my ground, acting upon my own emotions and standards all the while giving grace and consideration for other humans... to feel deeply into yourself, listen to your body, emotions, limitations and standards. So many facets. So much to learn.” Gi, 2023 

“The consent shadow work at Gilis retreat was one of the big eye openers for me. Especially when it came to the manipulative ways that I use and are used on me to go deeper into a connection was pretty intense. There was such a deep response in my body on certain phrases that it made me rethink many of the encounters I had. I then also saw more consciously how the hooks were used within the members of the group. The consensual non-consent- practice was very intense for me and slightly triggering, but also woke up a curiosity to explore that more in a more closed and 1:1- setting.” Katja, 2023

 FAQs

  • 50 Shades of No is designed for individuals for self inquiry. Couples are welcome and may practice together if you wish, and you’re also invited to do some of the practices with others for a range of different relational experiences.

  • This workshop will not be offering specific tools, coaching or guidance around communication challenges, conflict resolution and so on. This is a brave space to notice and hold the areas where you may want to put more focus and attention in your communications and power dynamics forward. Past participants of this workshop have reported noticing changes in their communications approach after this workshop.

  • We aim to make this process accessible to all bodies and the practices to have variations for different needs. A significant portion of this workshop relies on participants having the ability to hear, see and speak to each other. For highly sensitive and neurodivergent people, the space may present auditory intensity, as many of the exercises involve folks to be paired up and speaking to each other simultaneously. Please do get in touch if you have specific questions about accessibility of the space and content.

  • Sex positivity is practiced here in the sense that reference to sex and sexuality is welcomed, used and normalized. This is a lights-on, clothes-on workshop environment that doesn’t navigate towards sexuality or intimate contact. During a short portion of the workshop you will be introduced to a Conscious Kink practice of Consensual Non Consent as a tool to further integrate some of the content. This portion will be the only hands-on practice offered and, as everything else, it is opt-out friendly.

  • Please wear casual and comfortable clothing, seasonally suitable for an indoor activity with moderate movement. There will be one long break in the middle for lunch - please bring your own lunch, snacks and your own water bottle. Water and tea will be provided.

  • No. This is an experiential shadow work, fully facilitated workshop.

  • If you’re interested in this workshop and would like to have more information before joining, please reach out via email.